He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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