she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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