I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
There are leaves in my underwear?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
