you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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