Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
