My pussy is not your playground.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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