Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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