I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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