So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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