hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Terrible idea I love it
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
