hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize