I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
