I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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