He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
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Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
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Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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