Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I have so many feelings about this burrito