he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
