Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
