So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize