You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize