do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
