I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
