her vagine was all disorganized.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I look better un-naked...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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