Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize