Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
My ATM looks so different sober.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
