I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
