K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
