Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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