They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
