every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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