do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
you traded sex for a burrito?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
