I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
