call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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