just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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