You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
