Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize