Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize
