my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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