i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
