Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
