..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
