ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
