Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
