I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
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