I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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