Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
how does that bad decision feel?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize