Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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