And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize