I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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