god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
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He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
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This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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