i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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