i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
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I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
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A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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