you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
