"it" just moved
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
